The most important question is should we learn programming languages to become an Ethical Hacker? The answer is both yes and no.You can be a good ethical hacker without knowing any programming.You can do effective hacking with a better understanding of security tools.The problem is that even if you know the background working of a tool ,most people will classify you only as a script kiddie.
Understanding Programming languages will open a new world of hacking for you.It will also help you to write exploits and Hacking tools .Better knowledge in programming languages will definitely lead you to become an elite hacker.
I believe we should start with Web Hacking .So learn HTML First .
JavaScript
Next Learn javascript.Which will help in understanding the basics of Cross Site Scripting.
PHP
Nowadays majority of websites are written using PHP and Mysql .So it is a must to learn PHP to understand the mechanism behind Web applications.
C/C++
When we come to exploit writing C and C++ is a must learn programming language.C and C++ makes up more than 50 % of Exploits available now.
Python and Perl
Both of them are considered as scripting languages.Python is simpler to write and understand than Perl.Alsolearn Python Socket Programming ,which will help a lot in exploit writing.
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Perl is also used widely for exploit creation but it is much difficult to understand when compared to other languages.So i recommend Perl after Python.
Sources
You can use these websites to get started.
Use www.w3schools.com to learn HTML,JavaScript and Php.
Python
http://docs.python.org/2/tutorial/
http://net.tutsplus.com/sessions/python-from-scratch/
Perl
http://www.perl.org/books/beginning-perl/
C and C++
http://www.cprogramming.com/
http://www.cplusplus.com/doc/tutorial/
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